Anebriate is the main character, and the person to whom all the unfortunate things happen. He's lazy, hates straining himself, doesn't particularly care to involve himself in extraneous activities, and generally just wants to loaf around. His greatest pleasures include: back-rubs, booze, eating donuts and sleeping. Nobody is quite sure how he became the world's greatest warrior, and nobody is really surprised when all of a sudden he's forgotten all about it. Despite all of this, he is prone to inexplicable fits of great compassion and occasional kindness which leave his companions bewildered.


Palmer is a Cardinal, a high-ranking member of the Catholic church. He was once an active priest, traveling the world with Anebriate in search of meaning, and money, but over the past few years he's settled down in the Litchfield cathedral to take charge of the clergy's affairs. However, when he finds himself confronted with an oblivious Anebriate, the temptation to tag along is too great, and he forces himself into the party. Palmer may be a stalwart religious defender, but he is in no way a good role model. He's misogynistic and generally abusive towards children. He carries around a walking stick or a cane, which he occasionally uses to "slap a bitch." Unexpectedly, he cares very deeply for his nuns.


Also known as "Deemer the White," he is a powerful magician who lives a peaceful life in the humble forest village of Richmond. When the tavern burns to the ground and magic is suspected however, a number of fingers point in his direction, making him an immediate concern for our protagonist. Whether he is responsible or not, Anebriate must travel to Richmond and speak with him, or to fight, whichever comes first. Deemer is a brilliant man, but not very sociable, and has a difficult time finding common ground with Anebriate.


Dave is a capable pilot who agrees to help Anebriate and his companions out on their quest by escorting him around free of charge. He's also abundantly friendly and helpful, and nobody really stops to contemplate why he is so eager to help without any apparent benefit. He's so friendly, in fact, that it borders on frightening. It would seem they just can't help but trust that beard.


Webber is clearly a madman. He screams everything he says at the top of his lungs, and is constantly yearning for bloodshed. You may see him around the slums of Gardiner, enjoying a cold one, and it would behoove you to gather what information from him that you can. Some people say Webber wants nothing more than to destroy everything in sight. Some say he suffers from various post-traumatic stress disorders. Still others say that all Webber really wants is a friend.



Karla is Emma's sister living in China, Maine during Anebriate's visit. She's just as invested in the disappearance of the citizens as the gang, and so she opts to sign on to help out. Karla has spent her entire life training her body to achieve peak physical endurance in the brutal snows of Mount China, and has reached a level of impossible fitness where no condition is too extreme for her statuesque form. Her ambitions are humble and honest, and Karla only wants two things: to have ripped abs and to help good people who can't help themselves.



Robert is the least-known-about character in the party, at least partially because he joins much later in the game. He's a Native American confined on a modest reservation in Augusta, Maine, and has some issues with his nerves. He's paranoid and somewhat racist, and despises his hippie neighbors. He makes up a few lines about how he's banished to his reservation and gets into Anebriate's party solely by guilting Anebriate. He's a skilled archer and learns some of the game's most mysterious abilities, including one that revives all of his dead comrades with a single indian tear.


Greg is a mysterious imp-like creature that seeks Anebriate out for help with serious matters pertaining to the rulership of Hobotropolis. He is ambitious, conniving and manipulative, making him, by default, diametrically opposed to Anebriate's disposition in every conceivable way. Anebriate, for his part, finds Greg unattractive to look at. Nevertheless, Greg's strange gifts as a musician are unsurpassed, and his voice is that of an angel.

As well as these primary characters, there are some optional ones that you may attempt to adopt.



Emma is a warlock by trade, often using her mysterious magics to help out government officials, or merely to scare animals away from crops for the benefit of local farmers. She is quick-witted and wise, but also short-tempered and intolerant to cruelty, which puts Anebriate in a bad spot when he wants to get away with something. She'll agree to help the crew in exchange for a rare anthology of poetry, but dig deep, 'cause the book won't be cheap. Anebriate has an enormous crush on her pretty much instantly, but depending on how you play your cards, it may or may not be reciprocal.

Albert is a dedicated thief, and he's been causing some mischief in town. If you agree to help a citizen in need, you might happen upon Albert during one of his nightly stalks through the square. After being prodded for a while and refusing to give up any information, Anebriate comes to learn an extremely significant piece of information about Albert that tends to hinder communication between them. Nevertheless, his skills are impressive, and if you're in the right place at the right time, you can get Albert on the team and potentially learn about his strange and tragic past.